Where Are Your Shoes?

My nearly two-year-old daughter loves being outside. Whether she’s digging in the dirt, rocking in her chair on the back porch, or being pushed in the tree swing by her big sister, her face lights up at the mention of going outdoors. The moment she hears we’re headed outside, she races through the house, grabs her shoes, and with a huge smile, brings them to me to put on. What amazes me the most is how she always knows exactly where her shoes are. She might forget where her water bottle is or misplace the cap to her marker, but her shoes? She finds them without fail—every time.

The reason is simple: going outside is important to her. It’s her top priority, and because of that, she’s laser-focused on what she needs to make it happen. Her shoes aren’t just a random item to her—they represent something she loves.

This got me thinking about budgeting. So many people struggle with budgets because they treat them like a set of rigid rules they’re supposed to follow. But just like my daughter can easily lose track of things she doesn’t care about, we tend to neglect or ignore budgets that don’t align with our values and priorities. When a budget is based on other people’s goals or what some finance guru said, it’s hard to stick to it. It feels disconnected from our actual life.

Why Many Budgets Fail

The truth is, many budgets fail because they aren’t built around what’s truly important to you. If your budget doesn’t reflect your personal priorities, it’s like trying to make my daughter care about finding her water bottle when all she really wants are her shoes so she can get outside. It just doesn’t work.

For example, if your budget is designed around spending less on dining out because “that’s what a good budget does,” but you truly value shared experiences over food, you might end up overspending on restaurants or feeling restricted and discouraged. You’re setting yourself up for failure because your budget is based on someone else’s idea of what should matter.

Creating a Budget Based on Your Values

Instead of forcing yourself into a budget that doesn’t resonate, build your budget around your values.

Here’s how you can start:

1. Identify What’s Important to You
   Take a moment to reflect on what you truly value. What experiences or things bring you the most joy? What are the top priorities in your life? It might be travel, quality family time, personal growth, or even security and peace of mind. Knowing what matters most to you will guide your financial decisions.

2. Align Your Spending with Your Priorities
   Once you know what you value, align your budget to reflect those priorities. If family time is important, allocate more of your money toward family activities or vacations. If you value health and wellness, make sure you have room in your budget for healthy groceries, gym memberships, or wellness treatments.

3. Cut Back in Areas That Don’t Align
   Start cutting back on things that don’t truly matter to you. If something isn’t aligned with your values, you won’t miss them as much and you’ll free up money for the things that bring you joy.

Budgets aren’t just about numbers—they’re about priorities. When your budget reflects what’s truly important to you, it stops feeling like a chore and starts becoming a tool to help you live a life aligned with your values. Just like my daughter always finds her shoes when it’s time to go outside, you’ll find it much easier to stick to a budget that’s rooted in what matters most to you.

So, next time you sit down to work on your budget, ask yourself if you are focusing on the things that truly matter, or if you’re letting someone else’s priorities guide your spending. Build your budget around your values, and you’ll find yourself on the path to financial success—without the frustration.